Today I learned that someone I know tried to kill themselves. Commit suicide. Die.
They did not succeed.
I'm left with an difficult range of emotions and reality to comprehend. Disbelieve. Denial. Wanting to pretend it didn't happen.
Then the grief sets in. What if they had succeeded. Will they try again? Why did I not see this coming? What could I have done to prevent this?
What does it take in us as humans to drive us to the ultimate deed - purposefully cutting the life God granted (and can take away) short? Diverging from His master plan. Trying to control destiny.
Life is lots of things seemingly all at once. Blessed. Unfair. Joyous. Grief-stricken. Happy. Rebellious. Pleasurable. Confusing. Fulfilling. Regretful. And a thousand emotions in-between.
But if I could offer one thing to anyone who is unsure that they should be living... is that in life we are connected. Even if we feel we are completely cut-off and all alone - there is someone out there who would be devastated if you altered the natural order of your life. Devastated, as in unable to ever reconcile the belief they could have somehow changed the outcome. Responsible. Guilty. Defeated.
Find help. Take one more breath. Pick up the phone. Look in the mirror and remember one time in your life that you made someone else smile. Laugh. Hug you. Because whether they are in heaven or still walking this earth, they would be forever devastated if you purposefully ended your life.
Please. Just. Don't.
And I love you.
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