The One Question that No One EVER Wants To Be Asked

"Can you help me move?"

Even the most articulate people become speechless as they wrap their minds around what they have just been asked to do. 

Eventually they notice the awkward silence, signaling that the person who's asked them is patiently waiting for an answer. That's when the stammering kicks in. It's almost painful to watch the person struggling to respond. In any way, except, of course, "Yes".

It's so universally abhorred, there's even a TV commercial that cleverly brings it to life.  Xfinity's "Help Moving" spot shows friend after friend declining some poor guy's pleas for help. 

I mean come on, who do you know that would answer that question with, "Oh absolutely! I was really hoping you'd pick me to help you move. It's something I've always wanted to do. A secret ambition, really."

There must be hundreds of reasons why. But I can't help but wonder, assuming no one in their right mind would voluntarily help someone move, that their isn't some violation of general human nature at play.

Here are some hypothesis:

• It's too physically painful. Especially on the back, legs, neck, arms and back.
• It's too emotionally painful. What if you really like the person and they are moving far away? Or you lost you beloved teddy bear in a move years ago and not yet over it?
• It's unsatisfying work. No one praises you for your wrapping, taping or lifting ability.
• It's dirty, dusty and smelly work. Seeing what's behind a refrigerator that hasn't been moved in 10 years can turn just about any one's stomach.
• It's TMI. It never fails. We see that weird, surprising or unusual "thing" in a yet-to-be sealed box that just alters our perception of the friend we are trying to help.

Not to mention the fact that we all have moved one time or another and have battle scars to prove that's its not fun. I think I remember reading somewhere that moving qualifies as one of the five most stressful times in your life - right behind Marriage/Divorce, Childbirth, Death of a loved one and Job Loss/Change. Oh and stepping on a Lego with your bare foot.

Of course, I speak from experience in making these observations. Recently I helped a family member pack up and move. A mere 4 miles away. But it might as well have been half-way around the globe.

Oh, there were the usual hiccups. The number of boxes we estimated we'd need wasn't enough. We ran out of tape. Twice. It snowed on the day the moving trucks pulled up. The only item that somehow got lost on moving day was my rollaboard luggage (later retrieved from my nephew's car).

But all in all, and quite by surprise, I found myself happy. It was only by a twist of fate that I was available to help out my sister. We had a little bit of fun and got to do some serious shopping. We learned that I am way more "particular" about stuff than she is. That her husband is an unsung hero and loves her deeply. That her teenage kids are, teenage kids, and I was thrilled to get to spend some time with them. That they were SO happy about their new home and couldn't wait to settle in.

In the end, it occurred to me that being asked to help someone move is actually a huge compliment. Because the person asking knows that you might be one of the very few people they can turn to in their greatest time of need. And therefore, the only person in the world that will truthfully say, "Yes. Sure. I'll help you move."

So the next time someone asks you that dreaded question, just keep that in the back of your mind and make sure you pre-schedule a full body massage for when you are all done.